TeeTubes_014 // Defeat X Repeat




I wasn’t sure how to say this clearly until recently. 


I’m not good at not being me. I’m me all of the time, and sometimes that is a really good thing. But sometimes it’s not. There are things that I do, things that I think (about myself and others), ways that I see the world, that I’d honestly rather change.

Let’s get real.

I have a habit of checking everything on my phone always. I disconnect from the world around me, and the ability to just be present, where I am, with whomever I’m there with, is a task I fail at constantly. This is war. Every line is about a habit that I don’t want to write about any more. I realized the harmfulness of my bad habit almost a year and a half ago. I was alienating my wife, not absorbing the great things around me, and potentially most importantly, I was robbing my friends and loved ones of the gifts that are inherently mine to give.

You are not like everyone else around you.

The things that you have and are and do are completely unique to you. You might follow along, you might pick up phrases and jokes from your friends, but at the end of the day, no one does you the way you do it.

That being said, there are habits and ideas and things that we tell ourselves and our friends that are simply not true. In this example, the lie I told myself was that Facebook, or Instagram, or emails needed me. I told myself that what was happening around me (life) wasn’t as interesting enough. And maybe worst of all, I told myself not to engage because it’s not worth it.

Where do these lies come from? I’d suggest they come from a lack of self-love.

This isn’t a weekend retreat, it’s not a seminar, so I’ll simply say this: You are a beautiful and unique miracle. We know the chances that life exists in our universe are so infinitesimally small that it’s borderline unbelievable that we exist at all. Enough time on enough worlds, etc. might mean that life somewhere at some point was inevitable, but look, the time line of always versus the timeline of life existing, much less, life that thinks and moves and feels and ponders and wonders and creates! is so very small. So look at you. Look at you and acknowledge that you were made very very special and you’re worth the rest of everything else just because you’re you.

How does this play into this pseudo subscription, community thingy we call Tee Tubes? Just this. I lie to myself more often than I acknowledge the truth. So every time I tell myself the above truth, I’ve defeated that lie.

And I’ll need to do it every day, over and over again.

Defeat your lies, whatever it is that you think about yourself that’s not true, and the defeat them again and again and again.



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